Today I was practicing dear Richard (performance coming up on Thursday) and as I came to a point where I had to shakily sit down in a chair I leaned on its arm . . . and the chair leaned too. This had the consequence of making me lean a bit further than I had intended to; all the way to horizontal, in fact. (Wooden floors are hard when met with speed.) Fortunately this took place at the best possible time ie. Richard being at his most insecure and despairing. So I thought, Well at least that was dramatic; I'm sure I can make some mileage out of it. Raising myself on one arm I announced: "I shall despair". The thing worked so well (if I do say so myself) that I was tempted to try it again next time - but in the end I decided that it might lack the 'naturalness' that blessed the first incident.
How often are we forced to craft something useful out of a faux pas? Myself, about every day. We all (or those of us not falling under the category of "saints" or "demi-gods") seem to bumble our way through life like trolls at a tea-party. A wrong word here, a forgotten appointment there, a missed opportunity somewhere else. We make mistake upon mistake, and as we're concentrating on how to fix one we make another. It would be laughable (perhaps it still is) if it wasn't so sad. What can we do about it? Well just to "stop mucking up" is a bit of a tall order for me, I'm not sure about anyone else. I can think of only two possible alternatives: 1. Give up. Just keep banging and crashing your way through life, because you can't stop. 2. When you mess up, try to make something out of it. Don't lie there in a defeated lump, sniveling "I failed!". Yes, you did. Got that out of your system? Good, now see what you can do with it.
We will continue to fall on our faces - but as Gandalf said, "This is not the end."
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