Clinging To Child Time

Finally I have finished everything I can do towards my application. I have one meeting on Monday to sort out my CV; after that it will be off. On to the next task. Life no longer deigns to pause. When I was a child, memorable events, experiences or jobs were like islands rising up out of a calm sea. Those days of loose archipelagos are gone; I walk a land bridge now. There are no gaps. I'm sure I'd be sorry if there were. I am glad, however, that I was eased into this change slowly - it would be a bit of a shock to the system otherwise. Perhaps that's why too many people never do change. They cling on to the scatteredness and unresponsibility of youth long after its time has passed. Maybe they fear that if they once embark on this journey they'll not be able to cry "stop the bus and let me off!" In a way, their fears are well grounded; it is true that once this rollercoaster starts the only way to get off is to jump - not a wise option, nor one that many are comfortable with. But is an inexorable trek such a bad thing? What do we have minds and bodies for, if not to use them towards achieving something? Refreshment is always welcome along the way, but not idleness. Those who strain to stay in child time don't see the waste until it's too late. We don't have the lifeblood of trees or the span of planets or the leisure of immortal gods. We have a small (as I grow older, even now, I begin to percieve how small) handful of days that flick away like marbles carelessly lost. We do not have any time to safely squander. We cannot make up for lost moments later: time works like entropy - you have to take from one thing to give to another. Living small percentage of life isn't good enough. Even if you don't regret it before the end, there may be worse to come. Remember the man who buried his one talent.